Recently I’ve begun to wonder about what really makes a cuckold, and based on various websites and people I’ve talked to around the web, I come to realize that what a cuckold is cannot be so easily defined. There seem to be so many levels of cuckolding and no one cuckold is the same as the next.
Here is the Wikipedia definition of the term:
“Cuckold is a historic derogatory term for a man who has an unfaithful wife. The word, which has been in recorded use since the 13th century, derives from the cuckoo which gives up nurturing its own by laying eggs in other birds’ nests.
In modern terms, a cuckold can also mean a male fetishist who gains sexual gratification from watching his partner have intercourse with other people or having a wife who dates other men, often with the husband’s approval.”
Let’s look at the first part of that definition. In a nutshell, if you’re wife (or girlfriend perhaps) has cheated on you, then you are a cuckold — whether you wanted to be or not. I think this definition applies to any man whose partner has been unfaithful and likely without his consent or knowledge. Though, in order to be labeled as such, someone would have to know of the woman’s infidelity, or, as the article goes on to suggest, that the cuckold is usually the last to know about his wife’s infidelity.
The second part of the definition applies to the rest of us. The fetishists. The men who fantasize about their partners having sexual/dating relationships with other men. In my opinion, even men with “hotwives” fall into this category, though to a much lesser degree. So, as I’ve been ruminating all of this, I’ve broken it down into 3 categories in my mind:
True Cuckolds: The cuckold’s wife cheats. Period. Without the knowledge and/or consent of the cuckold. Either he tolerates it or doesn’t know about it.
Lifestyle Cuckolds: Men who willingly give up all power to their partner, allowing her to sleep with whomever she chooses, date whomever she chooses and submits to many forms of domination/submission, whether it be financial, sexual, or what have you. These men may or may not be forced into the lifestyle, but they are certainly aware of and accepting of it.
Fetish Cuckolds: Bedroom cuckolding. Men with hotwives or who gain sexual satisfaction/stimulation from his partner’s extramarital affairs, but largely lives a normal life in a mutual partnership with his wife. (I understand that many men with hotwives would debate being labeled as a cuckold, but if you don’t technically have an open relationship where both of you are permitted to play, thus swingers, then, well, if the shoe fits…)
I suppose if I had to put myself into a category, I’d be somewhere between lifestyle and fetish. I give up a lot of power to my wife. She is allowed to play and I am not. She exerts some measure of dominance over me and likes to tease me about her affairs on a daily basis. However, we have a fully-functional family unit. We are partners in life. We raise our children together, pay the bills together, go out together and have a good with one another, etc. We still have sex regularly, enjoy being together sexually, and frankly, I can make her cum in ways no man ever has. Why? Because I know her. I know what turns her on and how to make her cum. That and we’ve never had a strong regular “bull” to alter that situation. I’m not even sure she’s interested in such a thing.
Maybe it will happen someday, maybe not. Who knows. But I can say that nothing we do is without the consent of the other. Sure, there have been growing pains. And there have been times when certain details weren’t shared out of fear that I might get upset. Still, in the end, those details came out. Honesty is our best policy. It makes us stronger as a couple. And truth be told, should either of us ever have an issue with this fetish/lifestyle, we would stop immediately in the name of protecting all that we’ve built together.
What are your thoughts? Agree or disagree? What category do you fall into?
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